When I'm Gone
by CrazyJMB
Summary: Derek is a star hockey player, but finds it's getting in the way of more important things or should I say people. Centered around Derek and a OC. A songfic w/ some Dasey at the end. Not centered around death like the title may suggest. Rated T to be safe


Hey Everyone, I'm back. I know I have a couple stories that haven't been updated in FOREVER, but I've been having severe writers block. I've been going through some personal things lately and my creativity has taken a nosedive as a result.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek or the song, When I'm Gone

One more note: the bold letters are the song lyrics, while the normal font is the story.

* * *

"**Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?  
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?  
When they know they're your heart  
And you know you are their armour**

**And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her…"**

"Derek Venturi with another game-winning goal!" blasts the television 28 year old Derek Venturi is watching.

"Hey Daddy, watching highlights of yourself again?" asks a hyper, but cute little girl with long brown hair, blue eyes, and a smirk that rivals her old man's.

"Yes I am. Want to join me?" he asks.

"Ok", she says bubbly as she jumps onto Derek's lap. "You know, Mommy said something about you watching highlights of yourself. Something like you're ecological or something."

"She probably meant egotistical. She says that a lot. She's no fun after all", answers Derek.

"Na-uh. She's way fun. She can sing and play games, and can make me cookies without causing a fire", she answers.

"Hey that just that one…two…three times", he says while counting using his fingers.

"It's okay daddy, I still love you even though you can't cook. Take-out is still fun", she says.

**But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?  
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?  
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?**

**Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane  
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"  
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy**

"Daddy why do you and mommy live at two different houses?" asks Derek's daughter.

"I've told you before sweetie, Mommy and Daddy need some time apart" answers Derek trying to answer in the best way possible to a child.

"To stop you guys from fighting", she half asked, half stated.

"That's part of the reason sweetie" he answers.

"Oh Daddy, I almost forgot. I drew this picture at school today", she says proudly holding up a drawing of her and Derek.

However before she had a chance to hold the picture up, Derek's cell phone rings. It was his coach.

"Sweetie why don't you go upstairs for a couple minutes. Daddy has to talk to his coach", he says.

"Ok Daddy", she says placing the drawing on the nearby table.

Derek didn't see the picture for almost a week.

**I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing  
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing  
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"  
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying  
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time  
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"  
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it  
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"**

"Baby you know I have to leave tomorrow", says Derek sadly.

"But I don't want you to go. Can't you stay? Or better yet, can I come with you this time?" she begs.

"I wish I could baby, but I can't. The coach doesn't allow anyone to stay with us during training camp. But you get to stay at Aunt Marty's house for the weekend until Mommy picks you up. And also Mommy will bring you up to see me practice in a week or so", he says, desperately hoping it will prevent tears.

Derek may be an adult, but he is still one that doesn't handle tears very well.

"Why can't you just skip camp this year? You already know how to play hockey. Just don't go!" she pleads again, this time with tears.

**Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket  
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"**

**I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror  
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em  
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" and it's tonight  
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late**

**It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on**

Derek was sitting in the locker room before the first regular season game. He was feeling sick, like he did prior to most games, but this time it was different. He wasn't nervous about the game. Heck, his mind wasn't even on the upcoming game.

In his hand held a gold locket that his daughter gave him for luck. He opens it up to see a picture of him, his daughter, and his ex-wife. It was their last picture together before the separation.

The sight of the picture filled Derek's head with several memories. Painful memories. Memories of him fighting with her. Sure they always fought, even as teenagers, but these fights were different. Before they were playful, rarely intended to actually sting for more than a few seconds. However these fights eventually led to a divorce, something that wasn't even a possibility just a few short years ago.

"You love hockey more than you love us!" she would yell.

"You're only interested in us during the off-season. During hockey season forget about it!" she would then say.

**Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat  
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet  
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out  
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd  
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing**

It was the final game of the season and Derek's team needed to win in order to make the playoffs. The season had been extremely turbulent with many injuries across the board and Derek's uncharacteristically erratic play. However, today was a good day for him. A very good one. He had already scored two goals.

The game was tied 3-3 with a minute remaining in the third period. After the opposing team unsuccessfully shot the puck, Derek's team had possession. After a couple passes, Derek found himself with the puck and a clear path to the net.

The entire arena was on their feet chanting Derek's name, urging him on. After skating a few feet closer to the net, Derek shot the puck. For everyone watching, it seemed like the puck was in the air for an eternity. The puck ended up flying over the goalies left shoulder and into the net.

The arena absolutely went ballistic as Derek scored the go-ahead goal with less than 20 seconds left in the game. It was also his third goal of the night which meant he scored a hat trick. The people in the stands starting tossing their hats onto the ice while Derek and his teammates celebrated the goal.

Derek then looked over to where his daughter was seated to see her proud face. She was always the loudest and liveliest whenever he scored a goal. However this time she wasn't. She wasn't bouncing up and down, she wasn't yelling, she wasn't even smiling. Derek couldn't believe would he was seeing and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.

**"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'  
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad  
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'  
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin  
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"**

**But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice  
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"  
That's what they want, they want you Derek, they keep.. screamin' your name**

**I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see  
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me**

Derek didn't stick around to celebrate his team's playoff birth. He had to find his daughter and find out what was wrong. He ran into the locker room, changed into his street clothes and went out to find her.

He didn't have to look far as she was sitting on a bench right outside the locker room. Her face was flushed, her eyes puffy, and cheeks wet.

"Baby what's wrong?' asks Derek.

"You made the playoffs", she says simply.

"Yeah we did. Isn't that a good thing?" he asks. She shakes her head.

"Why not sweetie?" he asks confused as well as concerned.

"I don't see you during the playoffs as your 100 percent focused on it. Even when I do see you, you're not really there. I haven't seen you much this season, you've been more focused on hockey this year than ever before", she says.

"Baby it's only for a couple weeks or so. A couple months tops if we play well", he says.

"I can't take a couple of months without you. Mommy's been extra sad lately. She needs you back. We both need you!" she pleads.

"Baby, you know I can't just quit now. I made a commitment to my team. It's my job", he says.

"Fine", she says. "Mommy's right about you".

"Oh my God, it's Derek Venturi!" screamed a teenage girl who happened to be passing by. Before they knew it, Derek was surrounded by what seemed like a million fans congratulating him and wanting his autograph.

By the time Derek got out of the sea of people, he saw that his daughter was already walking away with her mom far in the distance.**  
**

**The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes  
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'  
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Casey and kiss her  
Tell her I miss her  
**

After spending that night and the following day deliberating everything, Derek found himself at his ex-wife's doorstep. Butterflies are an understatement. With every breath he takes, he feels the need to puke or at least turn around and go home. He eventually builds up the courage to ring the doorbell.

"Derek, this is a surprise…" says Casey rather flatly.

Derek couldn't help but notice how exhausted she looks. She looks like she hasn't had a peaceful night's sleep in years. The sparkle that was once present in her deep blue eyes is nowhere to be found. However, Derek found her just as beautiful, if not more, than ever. He however couldn't help but feel that this is his fault. He knew it was his fault.

"Can I come in?" asks Derek, uncharacteristically unsure.

"Sure", she says with a shrug.

They walk into her living room. Though Derek has many times dropped his daughter off at Casey's house, he has never once seen it from the inside.

"So what's going on?" Casey asks directly.

"I'm thinking about quitting hockey", says Derek almost inaudibly.

"What? You quitting hockey! Is this some sort of joke? Some sort of trap?" asks Casey rather loudly.

"No trick, no joke. I've accomplished everything I have ever dreamed to accomplish on the hockey rink already. I've won 2 Stanley Cups, player of the year honors, the MVP award. However, there is much I still have to do on the family front that will keep getting pushed back if I continue hockey", says Derek.

"Did you hit your head on something? You can't be serious!" exclaimed Casey, still not believing him.

After all, hockey defines Derek Venturi as much as the leather jacket (which he still wears) and his trademark smirk does.

"I'm serious Case, you were right about me. As much as I hate to admit it, you were right. I made hockey more important than you and our daughter. I want to be there for her. I want to be there for you", he says.

"Derek this all sounds good, but how can I trust you after everything? I can't just take you back like 1-2-3", she says.

"I never expected you to. I'm not asking you to marry me again. I'm asking you whether you would like to join me for dinner tomorrow night?" he asks.

"Hmm?" she asks a bit confused.

"Casey I still love you and I'm prepared to prove it to you, even if it means starting from scratch", he says.

"Ok dinner tomorrow", she agrees. "And they say Derek Venturi doesn't do romantic".

"Hey!" exclaims Derek.

"Some things will never change", she says playfully as she rolls her eyes.

**And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn  
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice  
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling  
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain  
Just smile back**

"Daddy! What are you doing here?" asks Derek's daughter.

"I came to see you and Mommy", Derek answers as he picks her up and spins her around a bit. "I also have something to tell you".

"You're getting me a pony!" she exclaims.

"No and I told your Aunt Marty to stop telling you that. Anyway, I'm going to stop playing hockey after the playoffs", he says.

"What?" she asks.

"I'm going to retire after the playoffs, so I'm not away from you anymore", he says.

"Really?" she asks.

"Really, I'm going to be around so much that you'll be sick of me before you know it and you'll be begging me to go back to practice", he says.

"Na-Ah! I'll never get sick of you being around", she says.

"I'll remind you of that when you become a teenager", he says smirking at her.

"Do you mean it Daddy?" she asks once more for confirmation.

"Yes I do sweetie. So can you be a little trooper and be good for Mommy while I'm gone this one last time?" he asks.

"Yes Daddy!" she exclaims back. "Only a couple of weeks, a couple of months tops right?"

"Right baby", he agrees as he gives her a hug.

"I'll be rooting for you. Let's make this last run count", she says smiling at him.

* * *

Many Years Later...

"We are gathered here today in memory of Derek Venturi, a loving husband, uncle, father, and grandfather. Derek was a 5-time All-Star in the NHL prior to his early retirement at the age of 29. He leaves behind a daughter, three grandchildren, and countless memories and sometimess headaches. Mr. Venturi was a infamous prankster, even in his later years. Mr. Venturi has been married twice, both times to Mrs. Casey Venturi, who passed away last year at the age of 89. They were the perfectly inperfect couple, always fighting, always arguing, but always madly in love. Mr. Venturi leaves us at the age of 90 years old, which is not too shabby for anyone. The love and mischief he caused will be missed and will never be forgotten. Now his daughter would like to say a couple words", says a priest at Derek's funeral.

"I'm not going to say a whole lot about my dad since his life pretty much speaks for itself. Everyone who's met him, knows that he was both wonderful and a pain in the butt. However, I would like to share with you his last words", she starts.

She then takes out a piece of paper.

"When I'm Gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Because I'm looking down on you smiling and I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel no pain, just smile back", she read.

* * *

Author's Note

Ok so that was quite different from what I usually write. I got the idea for this story from simply listening to my iPod and I realized that I listened to this song all the time. I don't usually go for the dramatic, I guess angsty stuff, but that's all I was capable of writing.

In case none of you are familiar with the song, it is by Eminem (I didn't mention that earlier in case it might deter any Anti-Em people from giving the story a chance).

Other than that, let me know what you think whether the review is signed or Anonymous. As I said, I'm not used to this type of story, so any feedback would be great.


End file.
